On of my neighbor's was learning how to cook (his wife had recently
passed away). He was cooking frozen french fries and he put dish washing
liquid in the pan instead of cooking oil.

Even worse, I was on a cruise, and a man showed up at the dinner table
with only one eyebrow. He used, what he thought was a tube of
sunscreen, but it was his wife's depilatory. When his skin started to
burn, he washed it off, but the eyebrows went with it.

Becca