On Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:44:39 -0800, kalanamak >
wrote:

>And those of you who remember how much I used to write,

I certainly remember the good old days of you posting. I socialized
with you during more that one... or five rfc gatherings. I think you
attended more gatherings than I did in my area!

> here is a little something from this summer. I hope it encourages
> others to not be afraid of a "home death". I wrote it on the 7th of July.

Sending my condolences.... your mom lived a long life, so I'm happy
for her.
>
><begin paste>
>
> Today I'm cooking and catching up with loose ends after spending
>midweek in Kansas helping my mother die.
>
> A week ago Tuesday she called my brother and said she had chest pain,
>for a day, and needed relief. He took her to the hospital, and after
>avoiding doctors and bad news all her life, found out she had renal
>failure, severe anemia, congestive heart failure, chronic leukemia, very
>low platelets and cachexia (all skin and bones). I'd suspected all of
>the above, and respected her wishes to stay at home as long as possible.

<snip>
>
> The men who came to pick her up sensed how HAPPY we were it was over.
> They joked and bundled her up in a very homey quilt and I said "I
> wish I could tell her she didn't soil the bed. She'd be so pleased
> with herself". The cat had sat ON her the whole last day, and Mommy
> had petted her over and over and held onto her until the end.
>
> All in all, a good home death.

That's a good thing! My mom had a good home death too. My sister is
an ex-Hospice home health care worker, so we had good "help" for what
was literally the last few days of Mom's life.

The worst part about it was that although Mom had literally tied up
every loose end, she forgot one major point - her Advance Directive.
Fortunately, all three "kids" agreed about what her last wishes would
be - so things went as smoothly as possible. It killed us to watch
her killing herself (she refused food and water for 9 days), but
that's what she wanted. We knew she'd decided to die because at that
point - it was clear she wasn't coming out of her cancer alive, no
matter what else happened. She had $600 in drugs unopened and unused,
so that wasn't a factor in her decision.

We console ourselves (privately) with the fact that she died on her
own terms and with dignity.

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