"Steve Pope" > ha scritto nel messaggio
...
> Serene Vannoy > wrote:
>
>>Steve Pope wrote:
>
>>> Sure, the correct etiquette is to force persons accepting
>>> the invitation to make phone calls, ask around, check
>>> gift registries etc. because it is their job as invitee
>>> to conduct a detective operation to find out if gifts are
>>> expected.
>
>>That's just silly. Gifts are NEVER mandatory. Never. Otherwise, they're
>>not gifts.
>
> That's why I said "expected" rather than "mandatory"....
>
> S.

You can never be in charge of others' expectations. I coule be sitting here
expecting you to send me something. I might even offer you an espresso and
a biscuit for it. Deluded attitude.

Even for a wedding, for which I EXPECT to send a gift if it is someone I
know, even if I do not attend, the choice of gift is mine and I have a year
in which to give it.

Accepting that any of these "expectations" of gifts to people over 7 years
old are valid only helps the "creep" of commercialism over open-hearted
generosity.

I cannot tell you how many graduations in foreign countries I have been
invited to. Kids I never saw who belong to people I may know slightly, but
apparently they receive 100s of invitations to send out..