On Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:51:52 -0400, "jmcquown" >
wrote:

>Dimitri wrote:
>> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
>> . ..
>>> Dimitri wrote:
>>
>> <snip>
>>
>> (snip history which seems to have worked out for the best, bless you!)
>>>
>>> I'm dealing with this right now. Mom doesn't want to move but her
>>> house is 700 miles away, so a quick trip to pick up this or that
>>> isn't feasible.
>>
>> Have you checked out the social services in the area? Most assisted
>> living places have specialists. Use then ever in placing mom in that
>> situation is out of the question. These people can lead you to free
>> resources that are very valuable. No need to carry the burden and
>> figure it out for yourself.
>I'm not sure about social services in the area; I can contact the senior
>center in town and do some Googling
>
>There's only one assisted living facility (Summit Place) in the Beaufort
>area. I checked it out before Dad died. I didn't save the information
>because Dad's dementia was too far advanced; he would have required
>full-time nursing care in a nursing home. I do remember (and this is
>outrageous!) the assisted living facility doesn't accept Medicare! And
>Mom's secondary insurance carrier won't pick up anything towards assisted
>living or nursing home care until Medicare has covered the first 30 days.
>Along with that, the cost was something like $2000/month for a shared (with
>a complete stranger!) "apartment" - 2 small bedrooms, a small living room
>and very basic a kitchenette. Ridiculous.
>
>>> It's a difficult situation to deal with. I do know she can't
>>> (won't) take care of herself anymore. Even though I'd left a lot of
>>> quick-fix thaw & heat meals in her freezer she didn't bother with
>>> them during the month I was back home. She was apparently living on
>>> toast, cereal and eggs. I know of one occasion when she ventured
>>> out to buy some fruit. Her neighbor had offered to pick up things
>>> for her whenever she ran to the store but Mom is the type, "Oh, I
>>> don't want to impose". It can be rather frustrating.
>>
>> I don't want to impose is a generational attitude that you'll have to
>> deal with for the rest of her life. is there a Meals on Wheels in
>> your area? At least she'll get 1 square per day.
>>
>Yes, there's a Meals on Wheels in the area. When/if it gets to the point
>where I have to go back to TN I'll be making those arrangements.
>
>>> I also think she's depressed but when I mention it she says she's not
>>> going to take another pill.
>>
>> If you can don't tell her what all the pills are for - get some of the
>> little plastic cups and tell her these are what the doctor ordered.
>> Pre-distribute the pills into the proper frequency. Morning noon,
>> night etc. You're not nagging -sit there, had her the cup and tell
>> her to take the pills as you would a child. Jill, remember she's
>> becmoming the child and you're becoming the adult. A difficult roll
>> reversal.
>I don't have the little cups but I do hand her the appropriate dosages and a
>cup of water three times a day. The problem with adding an anti-depressant
>pill is I they aren't an over-the-counter med. I'd have to take her to the
>doctor (a fight in itself) and she'd vehemently deny being depressed. He
>may prescribe something despite her protests but I think he'd have to tell
>her what it's for??
>
>> Let me know if you want to chat - if you do email me your Phone # &
>> I'll call.
>>
>Thank you so much for that kind offer! There may well come a time in the
>very near future when I take you up on it.
>
>Jill

Medicare does not cover custodial care. You must need skilled nursing
care or physical therapy before Medicare will pay anything. If she
does not need the level of care provided by assisted living look for a
retirement home or apartment.

The SC coast is probably going to be expensive. Check the area where
you live. It may be cheaper and much easier on you. If you can go
by and see her every few days you will be much more comfortable about
the whole thing.