On Jun 18, 4:10*pm, "Exrxes News Network" > wrote:
> The recent BBC News report about the problems of illegal fruit consumption,
> faced by Britain's strawberry growers, came as no surprise to Grimmclogge
> farmer, Seth Rootkill, or *subsidy Seth' as he is known by clerks in the
> Ministry Of Agriculture Fisheries & Food. * (writes ENN farming
> correspondent, Ivor Gottergrudge)
>
> Commenting on the news that a Cambridgeshire grower has been forced to
> abandon his 'Pick Your Own' strawberry business dues to the vast tonnage of
> fruit being eaten and not paid for by families out for the day (some of whom
> began to bring bowls of cream to dip their illicit berries into (A PIECE OF FICTION INSERTED BY PHIL INTO THE ORIGINAL STORY)) , Seth
> recounted his own experiences during the Strawberry riots of the mid 1980's
>
> "T'were the sodomites as were the problem we faced in them days", commented
> octogenarian Seth, a founder member of the Anti Sodomy League (ASL) and a
> lifelong advocate of compulsory heterosexual marriage at 18, "Not wholesome
> normal families a-tasting o' the fruit afore they bought some"
>
> "We was noted suppliers o' strawberries t' 'Arrods", continued Seth, "Ascot,
> Wimbledon...all t' major events 'ad our berries at 'em - an' I knows fer a
> fact that 'er Majesty, bless 'er, 'ad a partiality fer Grimmclogge
> strawberries wi' a drop o' gin"

(rest of twittering snipped)

Whilst acknowledging the (tenuous) Royal connection in this post, I
have to say that I was in the UK last week and read the actual news
story - which was that the strawberry farmer was packing it in because
of theft. For those not acquainted with Phil's "writings" (to use a
generous term) there was no element of homosexuality in the story.

Phil, I am sure you will be interested in knowing that while I was in
London last week I met HRH The Duke of York.

Breton