Recipe: Catsup/Ketchup Tacos

Ingredients:
Ketchup/Catsup
Flour Tortillas

Directions:
Travel to your nearest Mexican restaurant. Ask for a table for two.
Tell the waiter that you are not ready to order because you are
waiting for your company to arrive. Do not order anything. Observe
other tables in your vicinity. Spare tortillas are usually kept in a
styrofoam or metal container. When people exit the dinning area excuse
yourself for the bathroom. As you pass the unoccupied table, cleverly
scoop up as many tortillas as possible. After collecting enough
tortillas exit the restaurant.
Travel to the nearest convenience store. Go to the hot dog bar and
put a hot dog in a bun using the provided hot dog holder. Next, stuff
your pockets with little bags of ketchup or catsup. Next, rub your
chin and say out loud, "hmmm, I don't really want an hot dog after
all." Place the hot dog back and proceed to exit the convenience
store. If the clerk says anything about the catsup or ketchup just say
oops and put it back. If this occurs then travel to the next
convenience store and try again.
Find a warm dry place to assemble the catsup or ketchup tacos. The
best way I've found to assemble the tacos is to use an inverted
Frisbee. Place the tortilla inside the inverted Frisbee. Carefully
squirt the catsup or ketchup on the side of the tortilla which is
facing up. Massage the ketchup or catsup into the tortilla using
circular motions with your elbows. Consume the Catsup Tacos then
repeat until you no longer have a sensation of hunger.
Next, wait about 14 hours then defecate.
I am now 79 years old and I have used this recipe daily for the last
30 years. I estimate that over that period of time I have produced
more than 2 tons of human waist which eventually becomes the soil
mother Earth grows her vegetation in. I have fed myself for 3 decades
spending only $0.00.