Janet Baraclough wrote:
>
> My guess is that she suffered in smart shoes for the ceremony/photos
> then her feet were sore and swollen. She took off the shoes so she could
> enjoy the party in comfort. The bride might well think it more important
> that her mother was comfortable and enjoying herself, than trying to
> impress other guests.


The discussion is finally coming around to what I've been thinking. At
the formal weddings I've been to recently, guests keep their clothing
and shoes looking perfect for the ceremony and first hour or so of the
reception. Then, for circle dancing, people slip off their shoes. No
one notices, or if they do, they have the good manners not to say
anything. Similarly, clothing gets adjusted. A man might take off his
jacket and tie. A woman takes off her perfectly arranged shawl. Hair
doesn't stay perfectly arranged, and it doesn't make sense to spend the
enjoyable reception time in the bathroom fixing it every moment.
Everyone stays dressed, but it's obvious at that point that they're
there for a good time. They're dancing, eating, conversing, and
toasting, not staying picture perfect for the photographers.


The flip-flops are the only puzzle to me. Taking off high heels to go
barefooted makes sense. Replacing the heels with flipflops doesn't.


And a note about discolored nails. All of us at one time or another
will have something about our bodies that isn't perfect. It could be a
bruise, a rash, extra weight, a limp, or a bad haircut. In the old
days, it wasn't polite for a cripple to go outside or be seen in public.
Thankfully, those days are over.


If we're not perfect according to someone else's standards, we're
allowed to socialize anyway. Someone missing a limb may choose a
prosthesis, or a neatly folded and pinned pants leg or sleeve. At the
beach, an ordinary bathing suit may be worn. Bodies are just bodies.
The people who complain about them are the ones lacking in manners. It
isn't any more bad manners to wear discolored nails, no matter what the
cause, to a wedding than it is to wear 50 pounds of overweight, no
matter what the cause. The offending body part doesn't need to be
covered up any more because it isn't perfect than if it were healthy.


--Lia