"Blinky the Shark" > wrote in message
news
> ChattyCathy wrote:
>
>> An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up,'Sir, you Americans seem to
>> have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the
>> wrong hand, you drive your vehicles on the wrong side of the
>> road........ And now, Sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out
>> the window.'
>
> Someone emailed me this today:
>
>
> An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went
> to the local Catholic church for confession.
>
> When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said,
> "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our
> neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from
> the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."
>
> The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no
> need to confess that."
>
> "There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual
> favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on
> Sundays."
>
> The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did,
> you placed the two of you in great danger. But two people under those
> circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However,
> if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
>
> "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one
> more question."
>
> "And what is that?" asked the priest.
>
> "Should I tell her the war is over?"


good one

OK Irish jokes are my favorite.

An old man in Dublin calls his son in New York right before Christmas and
says, "Son, I 'm sorry, but I have to tell you that after 45 years of
misery, your mother and I are busting up. " "Da, what are you talking
about?" the son yells in disbelief. "We can't stand the sight of each other
any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of
talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No way
they're leaving each other!" she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She
calls Dublin immediately and screams at her father, "You are not splitting
up. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back,
and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR
ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Well then," he says, "they're coming home for Christmas and paying their
own way!"