Janet wrote:

> To the contrary, Miss Manners is all about making everyone feel
> comfortable.

I think there's a blurring here between the concepts of mannerly, sociable,
and convivial. When I think of "mannerly," I think of the formal dinners I
attended as a naval officer, where strict dining protocol was observed.
Sure, there was some interesting conversation, but decorum was the
overriding concern for those in attendance. When I think of "sociable," I
think of getting together with some acquaintances in order to get to know
them better. When I think of "convivial," I think of a group of friends
sitting around a table laughing at shared memories.

Obviously, the convivial gathering is the most comfortable, while the
[merely] mannerly gathering is the least. But manners at least provide a
framework for interaction.

Bob