On Sun, 07 Sep 2008 15:31:48 -0700, Mark Thorson >
wrote:

>Sheldon wrote:
>>
>> On Sep 6, 5:19�pm, Mark Thorson > wrote:
>> >
>> > I call this form of insanity foodiformia.
>>
>> I've got an egg piercer shaped like an egg.
>> I've got a holiday gravy boat shaped like a turkey.
>
>Looks like Stage I foodiformia, likely harmless
>and generally curable.
>
>If the eyes of the turkey gravy boat are
>a contrasting color to the body, rather than
>just being an impression in the china or
>earthenware body, that's Stage II foodiformia,
>a much more serious condition. Psychoanalysis
>or behavior modification therapy are recommended.
>
>Now, if you're like koko, she's an obvious case
>of Stage IV foodiformia, the most serious form
>of the disease. She didn't say so, but I can
>assure you that she talks to these foodiform items
>with faces on them while she uses them. (That
>doesn't mean she hears them talking back, although
>she may. If the latter, that's on a different scale,
>the schizophrenia scale.) That is diagnostic for
>Stage IV, and you can recognize it in an instant
>when you look at a person's collection of foodiform
>objects. If none of them have faces, it's probably
>harmless. If they only have impressed or molded eyes
>consistent with the dimensions of the eyes on the
>real animals that they represent, the prognosis
>is still good.
>
>It's when they have out-of-proportion "cartoon"
>eyes in a contrasting color that you make a
>diagnosis of Stage III. I'm deeply skeptical of
>every diagnosis of Stage III. I think nearly
>all of them are Stage IV. It's like if these were
>levels for describing cocaine addiction, and
>Stage III was owning a crack pipe and Stage IV
>was smoking crack, how many true Stage III's would
>you have? I think nearly all of your so-called
>Stage III's are in fact Stage IV's.
>
>Unfortunately, the prognosis is bleak. There are
>very few known recoveries from Stage III or Stage IV
>foodiformia. In every case, it was a woman stripped
>of her collection of foodiform tools in a bitter
>divorce, followed by massive self-medication therapy.
>The literature is sparse with regard to clinical
>outcomes, massive self-medication with alcohol
>(or more advanced drugs) seems to be the only
>reliable therapy.

You are hysterical. I could hardly read it because I was laughing so
hard. Stan kept asking me what was so funny but I was laughing so hard
I couldn't speak.
Now I'm going back and re-read it. After I fix myself a drink of
course.

kokoloco
There is no love more sincere than the love of food
George Bernard Shaw
www.kokoscorner.typepad.com
updated 9/06