FoodBanter.com - View Single Post - Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Book Club Luncheon

Ubiquitous

wrote:
wrote:

>>I caught this ep Sunday but didn't realize it was a new one until just
>>now. The shock of seeing SLop in that hideous retinal burn inducing
>>yellow and white ensemble made it nearly impossible to look directly at
>>her this week. Perhaps that was the intended plan? Being unable to watch
>>SLop directly caused my mind to wander, but at one point I couldn't help
>>but laugh when I noticed her trying to subdue a sandwich of epic
>>proportions with a skillet. Since I watch Good Eats, I knew what she was
>>trying to do, but it's hilarious watching her screw up what she sees on
>>real cooking shows! Did I see SLop tell us to put heavy cream in her
>>mocktail but pour in half anf half? Guacamole mixed with mashed
>>peas? Did SLop desecrate books again for the tablerape portion of the
>>show? Once again, I was only paying half attention and thought she had a
>>notepad with a sentence on it that was to be passed to your left after
>>adding a sentence and read aloud when after it completed the circuit.
>>Was this "book club" perchance her future nieces' Scholastic Book Club?
>
>So, today's SLop was an SD show stretched out to be HD. First, this
>makes SLop short and fat. Second, they used that unholy stretching
>method that unevenly smears the sides, so during the constant camera
>panning back and forth all the food and dishes and her hands were
>flowing and distorting and it's the only thing they could have done to
>make her food less appealing.

I have never seen SLop in HD, but I wouold suspect seeing her distorted image
would be the LEAST of my worries! I recall seeing the Goggily-Eyed Skeletor
in HD once at BestBuy and my gawd, she looked terrible!

>Pull much more of this crap, Food TV, and we won't be watching you at
>all any more.

Admit it, you like to mock SLop too.

>She makes Guac
>and extends it by adding PEAS
>gah

Oddly enough, Cook's Illustrated, I think, experimented with Guacamole
extenders and rejected using peas. They recomended baby lima beans, if
you won't sleep tonight without knowing, BTW.

>Also, her shopping tip was to pick the small end of the avocado off IN
>THE STORE so you can see how green it is! Jesus lady -- you break it,
>you've bought it.

Bwah! I wonder if she squeezes tomoatoes?

>Then she shows you how to use a paring knife to cut the avocado in the
>skin into perfect squares, carefully spoon it out (leaving lots of good
>flesh behind) and . . . MASH THE PERFECT SQUARES TO DEATH WITH A FORK SO
>YOU CAN'T TELL THEM FROM THE SMUSHED PEAS.

Except in her case, she didn't quite smash them enough to make the mixture
homogeneous.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!!
We assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while
eating the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no,
we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any
knowlege of Miss Lee.