In article 0>,
Wayne Boatwright > wrote:

> On Sat 03 Jan 2009 03:58:00p, sf told us...
>
> > On Sat, 03 Jan 2009 15:59:48 -0600, Lou Decruss
> > > wrote:
> >
> >>Well said. I typed up a response to OM and it sounded snarky so I
> >>didn't send it. I have a very good relationship with all my family.
> >
> > I think you have to put it into perspective. Both of my husband's
> > parents died within 3 years, by the time he was 22. He was pretty
> > hard hit by his mom's death - when he was 19. He was amazed his
> > brothers and sisters didn't take it like he did but then he realized
> > they had their own families to ease them through the grief and he
> > didn't. When you lose a parent, it's good to have a spouse and
> > children to provide an outward focus. I know having my own family
> > helped me with my mom's death.
> >
> >>I've been through a few pretty big losses and 3 years of being
> >>"destroyed" isn't normal.
> >
> > Shoot. I had a *dog* whose name I couldn't mention for 5 years after
> > her death without getting all misty eyed. If I got that way over an
> > animal, you can just imagine how I am about people.
> >
> >
>
> And I think the word "destroyed" is very subjective. My mother died in
> 1998. The first several years were certainly very difficult for me. Even
> now I have my moments. Many of us carry "false" guilt about things over
> which we had no control, but it makes it no less hurtful regarding their
> loss.

I still cry all thru the movie "Ghost". I watch it alone...
Dealing with the death of loved ones is very much a personal thing.

For ANYONE to judge another by their reactions to that is very narrow
minded IMHO.

YMMV of course. <sigh>

Let's just say I'm not going to lose my compassion for Jill. I have too
much empathy for that.
--
Peace! Om

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive." -- Dalai Lama