I admit it. I am. But times are hard and you take your laughs where
you can find them.

So Dear Daughter and her beau were over for dinner and were out back on
the trampoline, much to Zane's delight. Zane is our big male border
collie. He has a tennis ball fetish. And a trampoline fetish. His
favorite thing in the whole world (apart from flyball) is seeing my
daughter put her headphones on and roll up her jeans. This means she's
going out to jump on the trampoline, which means he can jump with her,
and bring her tennis balls, which she kicks or throws for him to retrieve.

The presence of Boyfriend adds a new dimension to the game. The pair of
them throw the tennis balls at each other as they bounce, in what I can
only interpret as some sort of bizarre courtship ritual, and Zane
retrieves them after the ricochet.

I consider Boyfriend either foolish or in love because there's no way
anybody with an ounce of common sense would allow DD to peg a tennis
ball at them at short range. The girl has a hell of an arm on her, and
dead accurate aim. And sure enough, she hit him in the eye with one.

Inside, I dug in the freezer for a package of frozen peas to apply to
the emerging shiner. Only, I didn't realize there was a split in the
plastic bag and as I was getting it out, a handful of frozen peas
spilled and bounced all over the kitchen floor.

It was funny enough to watch Scully scrambling around the kitchen,
scarfing up individual frozen peas. Seriously, what kind of border
collie is mad for frozen peas? But when Dear Daughter added in PacMan
sound effects... "WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA"...

It ranks right up there with the whole "peanut butter on the roof of the
mouth" thing.