I'm coming in late, but want to share a story before I forget. Then
maybe I'll get to the rest of the thread.

I'd invited a couple of friends over for pizza. I knew one was a
vegetarian. We talked. Any allergies? Anything you love or hate?
No, we're cool.

Either they showed up early or I started late, but they walked in as I
was putting on the eggplant. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I COULD DIE! WHO
PUTS EGGPLANT ON PIZZA ANYWAY?!"

Well, me, for one. And I did ask. And I had fed these people before,
they should know my lack of limits.

Took off the eggplant. Nobody died.

But, as to the conversation - the host was wrong. If she did do a
nice thing by altering her menu for a guest's mustard aversion, it was
still not nice to make a big deal about it and make the guest
uncomfortable.

mb