The Cook wrote:
> On Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:13:01 -0700 (PDT), Kalmia
> > wrote:
>
>> On Jun 17, 7:15 pm, Melba's Jammin' >
>> wrote:
>>> It was uninspired. Deli potato salad (not bad), cole slaw (not too
>>> bad), chips, pickle spears, roast beast sandwiches with plastic packets
>>> of condiments; bars, cupcakes, and tasty carrot cake. Plastic flatware
>>> that looked like stainless steel, and paper plates and styro coffee
>>> cups. Lutherans are getting a bad name for their funeral luncheons, I
>>> fear. I'm thinking of converting to Judaism‹that was a nice spread.
>>
>>
>> Gee, when did it become de rigueur to feed the bunch after a funeral?
>> Or is this a regional thang?
>>
>> Years ago, it was customary in my area to offer coffee, tea and petit
>> fours back at the house. Now, it's become a spread for sure at the
>> funeral parlor, or having the whole bunch at a resto for heavy duty
>> appetizers and desserts. Did the resto industry work in league with
>> the funeral directors to promote this? I wonder what's next.
>
>
> When I was young the food was taken to the family's house and visitors
> were invited to eat. We did not stay at the church or cemetery
> afterwards.
>
> Now that families are so spread out and the deceased may have spent
> the last years at a nursing home, the churches seem to have taken over
> the job of "dead spread." I talked to the woman in charge after one
> of the lunches and she said that she called people to bring food. I
> have no idea if she asked certain people to bring a specific item or
> they brought what they wanted. At another funeral coffee, tea,
> cookies finger sandwiches and cake were served at the church. I saw
> members bringing things in.
>
> I think it depends on the location and the church. I will say that I
> have never had a "dead spread" at a restaurant.
For MIL's memorial the dead spread was held at a local restaurant and
her old friends and family were invited. The siblings, including my DW,
paid the tab out of their inheritance. She was cremated within two days
of dying and then the ashes were interred in FIL's grave site by the
kids. She died in March this year and would have been 101 years old if
she had made it to October of this year.

The restaurant chosen had been designed and the building of it
supervised by FIL, an architect. MIL was a well known local fine artist
and a number of her paintings and drawings were hung around the private
dining room. A memorial booklet had a comic drawing that MIL had done of
herself as the frontispiece and high lights of her long life inside
along with various pictures. DW said it was a fitting tribute for her
Mom and one that all enjoyed.