Mr. Joseph Littleshoes Esq. wrote:

<snip>

> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
> yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
> for common words.
>
> And the winners a
> 1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

No, no! Way off the mark. Too many letters difference. Try this:

coffee, n. the person occupying the box