Haven't posted for the last couple days because I've been busy as a digger
in a bathhouse!

Last night my husband hosted our Spring Soiree for an assortment of
dignitaries, diplomats, and celebrities. The cooking duties fell on me, as
he is too MANLY to engage in that kind of thing! (Recipe for disaster if he
did, truth is, but he's a dab hand at mixing a drink and mingling, so it's
not bad to play to his strengths.) Because we had quite a few Muslim guests,
I tried to provide a large number of halal dishes, and to make obvious the
dishes which were haraam (not halal).

My only help was our 8-year-old clubfooted abo Boy Friday. He circulated the
platters among the guests with his trademark winning smile, then set them on
the sideboards after they'd been through the crowd. He also added charcoal
to the battery of grills as I directed him.

Here is the progression of foods leaving the kitchen:

- Porcelain spoons (Chinese soup spoons) which each contained a roasted
scallop topped with seared foie gras and a hint of a verjus dressing

- Oysters with ersatz caviar made by separately encapsulating cooked spring
pea puree and chili-garlic sauce

- Skewered shrimp wrapped with lemon myrtle leaves and cooked on the barbie

- Demitasse cups of peppercress-lettuce soup

- Steamed sea urchin in hollowed-out peeled-and-semi-dried tree tomatoes,
with lime wedges to squeeze over

- Blanched asparagus spears with wild lime hollandaise

- Grill-roasted barramundi on a bed of samphire

- Lamb: We had butchered 24 lambs for this event, and started cooking two
days ago. The neck bones and most of the scraps were made into a lamb
demi-glace, which was used in various places for the rest of the lamb
cookery. The shanks were braised with non-alcoholic shiraz and riberries and
served with sweet turmeric rice. The shoulder chops were grilled and served
with schug and damper. The loin chops were grilled and served with
eucalyptus jus. The racks were given a dry spice rub, grill-roasted, and
served with an olive-wattle-seed tapenade. The hearts, livers, lungs, and
stomachs were made into haggis. Some of the breastplates were braised and
then grilled, served with a curry raisin sauce. Other lamb breastplates and
some leg meats were cut into pieces and simmered with ginger and star anise.
The fat was removed from the broth, then the broth and meat were served
together with cooked rice noodles and the traditional "pho" garnishes. The
kidneys and some of the legs were made into pies. I made a great cauldron of
ragout with meat from various parts of the lamb, onions, stout, and a big
handful of pepper leaves. (That one had to be labeled as haraam.) Some of
the remaining legs (meat and bones both) went toward the demi-glace and some
was left for *me*!

- As I was cooking, one of our neighbors brought by a crate of artichokes,
so I peeled them, quartered them, steamed them, grilled them, and sent them
out with a lemon beurre blanc. (The beurre blanc was made using verjus and
lemon juice so it would be halal.)

The guests were getting sated by now, and my second-or-third-or-fourth wind
was starting to wear off, so it was time for dessert. Besides, it was nearly
10 o'clock at night, and we don't like to put our neighbors out. The
desserts we

- Rosella white chocolate bombe sculpted into the shape of the Sydney Opera
House. (The Japanese diplomat -- ambassador? -- looked askance at this one,
but as soon as he tasted it, he couldn't shovel it into his mouth quickly
enough!)

- Pavlova with passionfruit and vanilla whipped cream. Not as imaginative as
some of the other dishes, true, but a consistent winner.

- Macadamia-vanilla butter tarts

- Flourless chocolate torte with cherry sauce and almonds


One of the more "esteemed" guests ended up in the kitchen with me as I took
it upon myself to wipe off the front of his trousers. Oh, the sacrifices we
make in the name of hospitality...Some jobs are easy, but this was a hard
one.

At the end of the evening, I was too-right KNICKERED!