"maxine in ri" wrote

> My husband's church has "small group dinners" where the host supplies
> the main course and assigns the guests the appetizer, salads, sides,
> and desserts.

I dislike being 'assigned' a dish, but do not at all mind a sign up list, or
a conglom while we all offer what we wanna bring and settle it out.

> Dh and i were assigned salad and bread,
>
> the hostess
> said "Oh, we don't need a salad. This other person brought ..
> She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so

> If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
> guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
> offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
> share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
> ego.

I too would be angry. It isnt polite to start with the 'assign' a dish, but
if one must, then you *never* dump the assigned person's gift in favor of
some other person who rudely brought a competing one.

We had one like that many years ago at our simple neighbor gathers. She'd
try to 'one up' other folks dishes so we would 'ooh and ahh' over what a
great cook she thought she was. She was 'de-invited'. Afterall, if Amy was
bringing a simple green bean cassarole, she didnt need to sit there turning
beet red while 'The Ass' tried to trump it all with her version. We wanted
Amy's version and her conversation.