In article >,
"Dora" > wrote:

> maxine in ri wrote:
> > My husband's church has "small group dinners" where the host
> > supplies
> > the main course and assigns the guests the appetizer, salads, sides,
> > and desserts.
> >
> > Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad
> > with
> > candied walnuts and gougeres.
> >
> > We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
> > second couple there. As I placed my food on the counter, the
> > hostess
> > said "Oh, we don't need a salad. This other person brought a lovely
> > salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
> > appetizer."
> >
> > She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
> > to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
> > gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....
> >
> > She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.
> >
> > If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
> > guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
> > offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other
> > people
> > share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
> > ego.
> >
> > What would _you_ have done?
> >
> > fuming in ri
>
> "It was extremely kind of you to bring all these things. Of course,
> you realize others were asked to bring the (appetizer), (sides),
> (dessert) whatever. I'll be happy to put yours aside for you, to take
> home when you leave." (smile gently)". Period.

Some people are pretty inflexible, so I guess you'd have to be there to
know, but my personal philosophy is that you almost can't have too many
appetizers and salads. I love beets, but my wife hates them. If that
salad was mostly beets, my wife would miss out on salad, which is a
favorite of hers. Others don't like citrus. I would take some of each.
Two kinds of bread sounds good also.

--
Dan Abel
Petaluma, California USA