On Dec 6, 2:09*pm, maxine in ri > wrote:
> My husband's church has "small group dinners" where the host supplies
> the main course and assigns the guests the appetizer, salads, sides,
> and desserts.
>
> Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad with
> candied walnuts and gougeres.
>
> We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
> second couple there. *As I placed my food on the counter, the hostess
> said "Oh, we don't need a salad. *This other person brought a lovely
> salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
> appetizer."
>
> She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
> to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
> gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....
>
> She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.
>
> If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
> guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
> offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
> share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
> ego.
>
> What would _you_ have done?
>
> fuming in ri

I'd give it to the hostess--straight. You might still want to call
her and explain your position and whether you will participate again.
See how she worms out of this one.