maxine in ri wrote:
> My husband's church has "small group dinners"
>
> Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad with
> candied walnuts and gougeres.
>
> We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
> second couple there. As I placed my food on the counter, the hostess
> said "Oh, we don't need a salad. This other person brought a lovely
> salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
> appetizer."


THEN SERVE IT AS AN APPETIZER and serve my salad as it was meant
to be! Your hostess wasn't very tactful was she?

>
> She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
> to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
> gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....
>
> She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.
>

Is she usually this passive aggressive, egotistical, or just
clueless?

> If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
> guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
> offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
> share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
> ego.

I agree with your suggestion. Your hostess was pretty much 50%
of the problem. How could she not think about YOUR feelings, too?

> What would _you_ have done?
>
> fuming in ri

I'd have been fuming also, in fact I am on your behalf.

As hostess, I would have served the gyoza as an appetizer and
the beets-and pomegranates as a second salad. (There are SOME
people, usually well-intentioned, who don't like beets, remember?)

Has this happened with this group before? It sounds as though
the rules haven't been stressed enough or some folk don't think
the rules apply to them. (Hm, why is it always the same people?)

Hugs and sympathy,
gloria p