Cheryl wrote:

> I shouldn't be telling the world in a NG this but I don't socialize
> anymore since my son died. New Years of 2003 was the last time I
> talked to him at midnight. Went to an overnight thing at a club in
> Frederick MD and at midnight called him, my parents, and everyone
> else that wasn't there. We emailed between that night and the 25th
> of Jan when he died, but we didn't talk or see each other. I'm sure
> one day I'll go back to my life but for some reason it hasn't
> happened yet.

"Thank you for sharing."
"I'm sorry for your loss."

Upon encountering a disclosure like yours, those two fatuous phrases come to
mind almost reflexively. But the fact the fact that you chose to share
*means* something. It means that you are socializing with *us*. It's a
start, just a small step, toward socializing in a bigger and bigger way.
It's extremely rare for me to visit a club, but that doesn't mean I don't
socialize. I just prefer not to socialize with STRANGERS.

Also, people *do* feel sorry for your loss: John Donne wrote, "any man's
death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind." Death surrounds us,
and we're diminished further and further every day. As the death toll
mounts, the living reach to each other for comfort...because where else
could comfort be found? In the case of your son's death, the New Year's
rituals which are enacted every year are recurring reminders of what
happened, and it would be positively macabre for you to carouse under those
circumstances.

Bob