"Dimitri" wrote:

>FWIW.
>
>
>Many people like to vacation in a specific area. We found such an area
>along the central coast of California. for 20 years we would take a
>vacation rental & move in for a week or 2.
>
>At vacation time many people notice a shift in mental attitude. Mistakenly
>they can equate the shift in attitude to the area. They think "If I could
>only live there I would feel like this all the time." An obvious trap. If
>they sell their primary home and move to the area and ultimately find out
>they've made a mistake and move back to their original area all they have
>accomplished is to support the Real Estate sales profession and the movers.
>
>We decided to rent along the central coast for at least one year (our
>special vacation spot). That was 2 1/2 years ago. Yep we like the area
>very much but we're away from our children & grandkids. We're in the process
>of moving back into our home & then we'll decide what is the right decision
>for our retirement. Deciding to rent was one of my better decisions. I
>don't make many wise decisions.

Initially it is a good idea to rent first but why did it take you 2
1/2 years to realize you were in the wrong place, that's a very long
time to be lost. And no way do I buy the away from kids reason...
there has to be other reasons... to be near one's kids is the very
worst reason to move, not long after you settle in your kids will need
to change jobs or some such and move half way across the
country/planet. Normal parents/adult children don't want to see each
other every day anyway, in fact they shouldn't want to speak to each
other every day let alone see each other every day, otherwise there is
something seriously psychologically amiss, an abnormal dependancy.

I know quite a few people from NY who upon retirement moved south, the
smart ones keep their home and rent a condo in say FL, the Carolinas,
wherever, this way they can still come back, otherwise they usually
get priced out. They typically become snow birds, winter in FL,
summer in NY... half the people on my road are snowbirds. But some
after a short while decide the new lifestyle is not for them so they
return. The main reason is usually financial but also because their
life long friends in the north never visit and they have trouble
making meaningful relationships in retirement communities. Retirement
condo living is very transient anyway, most elderly are mistrustful to
begin with so relationships made later in life are at best superficial
but especially so when there is so much moving in and out. Often
folks of retirement age can't visit, sometimes finances but usually
for health reasons. I've never heard any say they come back because
they miss living around the corner from their adult children. The
most common reason I hear for visits is medical, people want to see
their regular doctors/dentists... many women even miss their
hairdresser. My brother has a home in both Florida and Argentina,
he's a snowbird between the two... he's been back to FL this month
mainly to have dental work done, he only trusts his regular dentist
for root canal work. He'd like to live in just one place but so far
he can't decide which... eventually as one ages fraility dictates.

Nowadays with computers, video cams, digicams, and such people can
visit 24/7, except for health issues with elderly parents there really
is no good reason to live next door. My daughter lives in the next
state, a three hour drive. We can visit pretty easily but we don't,
3-4 times a year is plenty, and we don't need or want long visits,
after like six hours I'm ready for them to say byebye, and so are
they. And the telephone reaches any distance, but we call each other
less than once a month, ten twenty minute conversations a year is
sufficient. Except for real emergencies (not I need to borrow an egg)
I don't think it's healthy for parents to get into the intimate
minutia of adult children's lives.

I thought you loved living up the coast... where are you contemplating
trying out next for retirement, but don't spend 2 1/2 years
contemplating, you're running out of years. Good luck.