Or, as George Bernard Shaw said: "Do not do unto others as you would
that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same."

Lenona.

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1...rs-informality

Informality Or Not Giving A Hoot?
Miss Manners.
June 11, 1995|By Judith Martin, United Feature Syndicate.

Dear Miss Manners--Lately, it seems that friends and relatives who
invite us for dinner often remark, "We are having something simple,"
or "Do not expect anything fancy." They are by no means poor.

We were recently served a five-month-old frozen meatloaf! Why do they
make a point of informing us of this? It makes me feel as though we
are not very important guests.

Gentle Reader--The meatloaf is not the problem.

Graciously offered (which is to say, without announcing how long
dinner has been in the freezer), humble hospitality can be charming.
So might possibly be a very small apology suggesting that the fare,
whatever it is, is not worthy of one's guests.

No doubt they believe they are practicing the Cult of Informality, a
currently common form of social confusion, in which a lack of
consideration and hospitality is supposed to glow with the warmth of
intimacy.

Why not bothering on behalf of one's guests should be considered a
virtue, Miss Manners cannot figure out. Like you, she has a great deal
of trouble distinguishing this from the Cult of Not Giving a Hoot.