"Dave Smith" wrote in message ...

It has become increasingly common for obituaries to indicate that the
family would prefer to have donations made to charity in lieu of
flowers. In some cases they ask that they be made to a charity of your
choice. In cases where there are young children, there seems to be a
growing trend to requesting donations to a trust fund for the child or
children of the deceased. My brother told me the other day about one on
his wife's extended family where they asked for donations to be made to
the daughter. In this case, the daughter is a 28 year old single mother.

Situation is.... the deceased was the father of my brother's wife's
brother's wife. My brother flatly refused to make a donation. In his
mind, the girl is an underemployed loser with a 8 year old daughter of
her own. She has never been married or in a long term relationship. He
discussed it with his wife's parents who were quite adamant that it is
quite common, especially among Italians (the husband was Italian).


I have never heard of this. I have to admit that I agree with my
brother. I would never make a memorial donation to something like that.

The family is not needy. The parents had a nice home, and there is a
vacation home. If the daughter is needy, she and her daughter could
move in with the mother. If money was an issue, they could sell the
vacation property.


Has anyone ever heard of a case like this? Would you make a memorial
donation to the 28 year old deadbeat single mother daughter of the deceased?

~~~~~~~~
I have never heard of anything quite like this, and I don't think I would
make that type of memorial donation under the circumstances you described.
On the other hand, my mother sent a nice check to my father's sister (my
father had died sometime earlier) when her husband died. We did not think
of it as a "memorial donation," but this was a widow who had been left with
several minor children. The father had been employed, but they were very
poor. Mother said she would much prefer to give them money to spend where
it was needed instead of buying expensive flowers or even donating to a
worthy charity in that case. However, your example sounds very different
than what I am describing. We have made memorial donations to charities for
many years, even before it became "popular" to list them in obituaries.
Again, my parents always preferred to send their money where it could do
some good instead of buying flowers that were often thrown away or left on a
grave site to wilt.

MaryL