On Sun, 05 Jan 2014 13:31:54 -0600, DreadfulBitch
> wrote:

> On 1/5/2014 1:15 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>
> > Well you won't like this but... My dad requested prior to his death
> > that there would be no services. And his favorite thing in life?
> > Food. Most specifically going out to eat. And sadly once he moved into
> > the home he was only able to do this once. So... In lieu of the
> > service, the family is all going to get together to go out to eat.
>
> My grandmother always insisted she didn't want any kind of service when
> she died. We honored her wishes. No visitation, no memorial, no family
> gathering, nothing. I will always be sorry we didn't do *something.*
> As trite as it may sound, there was no closure to her death.

You're absolutely right! All four of my grandparents had those wishes
and there's still a little hole in my heart when I think about them.
My mother was very modest, but my siblings and I gathered to give her
a proper send off - just us in the living room with pictures and
candles and lots of reminiscing, so I'm at peace with her death.

> As a
> result I've told my family that I don't want any kind of visitation, but
> would love it if my family and friends got together to have a party and
> share remembrances of my life.
>
One of women I knew quite well through mutual PTA commitments died of
breast cancer in her mid-30's and that was her wish too. We did
gather for a formal service, but it was a celebration of her (busy)
life and there was a big party afterward. She wanted to be remembered
with a smile, not a tear, and she wanted to host one final party for
her friends.

> I'm glad you and your family will be gathering in remembrance of your
> father. It will mean a lot to you in the years to come.

Just an intimate little one. That's all it takes.
--

"Corporations aren't people, they're Republicans"
(Rev Al Sharpton 10/7/2011)