On 2014-07-18 11:52 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:

>
>>> I used to work with a guy who spent almost all of his time with his
>>> wife. He never went anywhere without her. I don't know is that was his
>>> idea or her's, but she used to call him four or five times a day, and he
>>> used to call her.
>>
>> So what's wrong with that ?
>>
>
> I spend a lot of time with my wife but when I go to work I only call one
> time a day. Dave is talking about 8 to 10 times between them. That is
> obsessive. Affects concentration and work performance too.

Absolutely obsessive... and needy. They did everything as a unit.I
think it is important for people to have a sense of self and some
independence. This guy used to live less than 5 minutes from the office
and she used to call him a few minutes before quitting time. She
couldn't wait a few minutes until he got home?

Maybe I am old fashioned, but I always accepted that employers did not
want employees making and taking personal phone calls on the job. My
wife was the same way. My wife only called me at work a half dozen
times in the 28 years that I worked there, and two of those calls were
about deaths in the family. She was a school teacher and could not take
calls on the job. I called her only a few times, either at lunch hour or
after class.


>
> I work with a guy that is similar. Texting numerous times aside, he used
> to leave work at lunch to take her a coffee where she worked. He could
> stay at the shop and have a paid lunch, but instead he left and gave up
> 5 hours of overtime pay a week. That coffee cost him about $7,000 a
> year in lost wages.

I was given some good advice at my retirement seminar... "I married you
for better or for worse, but not for lunch". It is important to have
alone time.