"Janet" > wrote in message
.. .
> In article >, says...
>>
>> It's been a hell of a day. I could not open my coffee can this morning.
>> The little tab you pull was too small for me to get a grip on it. My
>> fingers kept slipping. So finally out of total frustration I took a
>> knife
>> and cut the cover off. Top it all off I scratched my finger on the edge
>> of
>> the cover. That's the last can of Yuban I will ever buy. My attorney
>> will
>> be sending them a letter tomorrow. I think my finger is infected. I'd
>> go
>> to the urgent care but my cats can't drive me and I lost my glasses and I
>> broke my leg tripping over the kitchen matt. You know the ones that are
>> supposed to keep you from slipping? They'll be hearing from me. And the
>> thing is I don't even drink this brand of coffee. In fact I hate it.
>> But
>> it was on sale so I got a case. I'll throw out what's left. My finger
>> really hurts. It's not a clean cut you get with a knife it's kind of
>> jagged. And now I have to feed the cats but I only have the one kind of
>> dry
>> food which my Siamese and Tortoise Shell will eat but my black cat hates
>> it.
>> He likes caned food but you know that is not good for their urinary
>> track.
>> My tabby will eat anything - for a while. Then he decides he hates it and
>> won't touch it. And now my coffee is cold and I hate reheated coffee.
>>
>
> So now the truth is out. All this time, you and Julie have been
> conducting a secret affair.
>
> Mr Bove, a shadowy figure who came and went without rhyme or reason,
> finally went but nobody noticed, and still we suspected nothing. Now we
> find out you have eloped with Julie for better, or probably much worse,
> till death or a new allergy.
>
> We have held a collection on rfc and purchased this gift for your
> new life together, a symbol of the joys to come.
>
> http://tinyurl.com/j77nlf9
>
> Janet UK

Anyone who has seen Mr. Bove would not call him a shadowy figure.