On Mon, 23 Oct 2017 10:02:23 -0700 (PDT), dsi1 >
wrote:

>On Sunday, October 22, 2017 at 1:43:41 PM UTC-10, Dave Smith wrote:
>> Yep. That's what I am in. It seems that my wife was upset that neither
>> my son or I would attend a dinner at her church. I do not do church
>> events, and he has a good excuse because he is working that day. She
>> invited her niece... the Big Niece. I was not consulted. She knew I
>> would say no. Maybe she thought it would be a fait accomplis if she went
>> ahead and invited her.
>>
>> Nope. No way. Not happening. I am in the dog house. Plans have
>> changed a bit. BN is now taking the bus down, being picked up and taken
>> to the dinner, then back to the bus for the trip home. She is not
>> coming to my house.... not this weekend, or any time in the future.
>>
>>
>> I am in deep shit over it, but I should be able to sleep well, not
>> having to worry about someone sneaking through the pantry and helping
>> herself to everything her little heart desires. There is a line in the
>> sand. It is bad enough that she has to be included in family events, but
>> she is not to be invited to come on her own. I hope you are all happy. I
>> have probably been cut off for a while, but... it's worth it.
>
>You should be in deep shit. It wouldn't have killed you to do this one simple thing.
>The reality is that you do shit that you don't want to do because you love and
> respect your wife.

There's a very simple solution. What we would do when people
suggested getting together as a group and there may be some that we
really didn't feel comfortable with at our home we suggested meeting
at a restaurant. People can enjoy themselves to their heart's content
and then pay their own tab. We used to do that all the time, with
family and friends, no one feels put out. And whoever chose for
whatever reason not to attend could decline.
We never enjoyed a crowd at our house, the most we felt comfortable
entertaining at home was no more than two other couples and only those
we knew well. These days we don't even know any couples, of every
couple we knew their spouse has passed. At this age hardly anyone is
left who I knew growing up. Of the handful remaining they live ten
states away and/or in assisted care homes. At my age it's very
difficult for men to make new friends... making new friends (actually
aquaintances) later in life is easier for women. Since my wife golfs,
skis, takes watercolor painting lessons, knits, and is a substitute
teacher she has more opportunity to meet new people but she readily
admits that none does she know nearly well enough to consider
friends... none have invited her/us to their home... we figure they've
something to hide. And none of those people she meets have stayed
around for more than a season and then move on. People are extremely
transient these days. Most won't give a home address, at best just an
email address and cell phone number. My wife was born in Belize
(actually British Hondurous then), and as a young adult lived in
London, England. Old friends from then are long gone. Neither of us
had much family, those are gone as well. However we make a good team,
we have much in common and enjoy a lot of the same things, we both
love country living.