On 2017-11-24 9:25 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>
>> Barb Schaller used to write about them on occasion.Â* I've only been
>> to one and it was truly wonderful food.
>>
> Yep, Barb sort of coined the phrase on RFC.
>
> The first funeral I attended was for a girl I went to high school with.
> She had just graduated a few months before.Â* She was killed in a car
> crash on her way home from work.Â* It was too depressing to consider
> going back to her family's house for a gnosh.Â* The only funerals I've
> been to since then were my parents'.Â* After Dad's funeral Mom was in no
> shape to deal with visitors.Â* When I was making the arrangements she
> said NO to the idea of a dead spread.

I first heard the term in this group. I was taken to a few family
funerals when I was a kid, and it was common to have a reception in the
church hall following the service. When I was 14 I attended the funeral
of a good friend and the family had a reception at the house.

When my Italian neighour's parents died the funeral service was done at
a local funeral home/cemetery, followed by a catered sit down meal.
Memorial services for my parents were done at my brother's church,
followed by a short reception at the church and then a less public
reception at the house.

There was no service for my friend. He was an immigrant and the only
blood relatives left were his daughter and his sister, but he had a slew
of step children and their half siblings who adored the guy. One of them
owned the facility where the even was held, and the rest of them put
everything together. There were a number of friends and former
co-workers and band mates who attended.

It was all very casual. There was no service. At one point the widow
had us form a circle and she invited people to speak if they wanted,
followed by some live music. They had several large tables with all
sorts of nibblies.... cold cuts, great cheeses, a lot of smoked salmon,
fruit, desserts, good wines and beers.

It was much better than having some minister use the occasion of
someone's death to give a sermon.