"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
news:Ra23d.115302$3l3.31603@attbi_s03...
> Dan Abel wrote:
>
> > So for those of you who hate cell phones in restaurants, would they be
OK
> > if people used a normal voice?
>
>
> Good question. I'd say the louder voice is about 70% of the problem.
> The rest has to do with the sense that the person isn't there, isn't
> paying attention, isn't part of the community, can't be brought back in.
>
>
> In a few memorable instances, I've been in a situation where someone
> ignored my presence altogether, didn't just avoid eye contact but
> pretended I wasn't there at all even though addressed politely. I can't
> explain why it was so infuriating, but it has stayed with me years later
> though you'd think it was a small thing. Someone on a cell phone in a
> public place has that effect. They're there, but they're pretending
> you're not.
>
>
> If 2 people are chatting and I need to get their attention to ask a
> question, I can make eye contact and break in that way. I can listen
> for a pause in the conversation and time my interuption. They'll see
> that I need to get in, make room for me, pay attention, then go back to
> their conversation. With the cell phone, there's something normal about
> leaving the person alone until they're metaphorically back in the room.
> They've been there the whole time, but somehow they're not there too.
>
>
> Cell phones break all the rules of normal communications and body
> language. Even when I'm with someone with a cell phone, and even if
> they have the phone on vibrate, and even if I understand why they need
> one, and even if they only glance at the number and don't take the call,
> I still find it disconcerting to be in the middle of saying something
> and have my companion's attention drawn elsewhere by something I can't
> see, hear or feel. There's something rude even in that.
>
>
> --Lia
>
>

Your post is very perceptive and to the point. It applies also to the
nitwits who use a cell phone while driving - they are "not there" and their
driving shows it.


--
Peter Aitken

Remove the crap from my email address before using.