Anyone else take a gander at the cover of Penzeys Holiday 2004 catalog, the one
supposedly depicting a Thanksgiving turkey dinner... am I the only one who
thinks that's the saddest/sorriest looking plate of food, what an awful
presentation... all that white-ish food on a white plate too (must be
Norwegian), couldn't even afford a measly sprig of parsley. Just look at that
turkey (guessing it's turkey - actually looks more like over done pork), looks
like really dried out scraps that were hacked with the dullest of knives...
potatoes look lumpy, and the dressing, if that's what it is, looks exactly like
the hairball vomit my cats cough up... don't even want to mention that the
gravy looks more beefy than turkey, and well congealed. That plate of food
sure doesn't look very appetizing, makes me feel like forgoing the turkey thing
this year and having a ham sandwich instead. I'd love to know who they paid to
cook that meal, I'd fire the kitchen fraud on the spot, along with whoever did
the hiring.

On another MORE SERIOUS topic; a few days ago I placed an order to Penzeys, not
very much stuff, only five items... a pound of peppercorns, 8oz msg, 4oz
oregano, 4oz marjoram, and 4oz bay leaves. Immediately upon opening the
package I knew instinctively that something was wrong, all I could smell was
cardboard, there wasn't even a hint of spice aroma. As soon as I looked at the
big bag of bay leaves I was very disappointed, they were kinda brown and very
broken, not just a few broken leaves, but I'd guess about 30% were broken, and
not just a piece broken off here and there but lots of itty-bitty slivers.
These are the worst bay leaves I've ever seen, looks like a herd of elephants
trod all over them, but the box arrived in perfect shape and well padded.
Perhaps not many order so large an amount of bay leaves so these are really old
and well handled. In fact the order taker kinda admonished me by asking in a
rather stern tone if I had any idea how many bay leaves are in 4ozs... yeah,
must be a friggin' million of em I thought to myself... right there I missed
the clue not to order large quantities of anything from Penzeys... most orders
are from cheapo *******s who typically order the smallest [sampler] size, so
the bulk sizes get no turnover, they sit around 'bout forever.

My next disappointment was the marjoram, it's more dust than leaves... but the
worst part (or the best part, depending on point of view), upon closer
examination I noticed something thin, long, and white inside the bag
intertwined with the marjoram, and then upon even closer scrutiny it hit me,
yup, sure looks like the twisted string from a tampon.

I didn't open the bags. Was too late to call yesterday so this morning I
called Penzeys to complain. Naturally they will replace the items (figured
they would) and they will include a remailer so I can send back the products in
question... I guess they'd rather I didn't destroy the evidence. But now I am
very nervous about using Penzeys products... I mean I can actually see the
tampon string but what else is in there that I can't see? Reminds me why I
grind my own meat... do I need to grow *all* my own herbs too?

I also for about the umpteenth time suggested that Penzeys date stamp their
products, and for the umpteenth time my suggestion was met with defensive
indignance. I suppose a date stamp is pretty meaningless anyway, who knows at
what point the product would be dated.

I am among Penzeys very first customers, from since long before they had a
retail store, a website or even a real catalog, for about ten years now... and
have always in the past did my best to give them good press, especially here on
rfc. But I can no longer in good conscience recommend Penzeys... I suppose
success has gone to their heads, they are way too busy counting long green
instead of ensuring the green of their products. I don't know if that is
really a tampon string but it sure looks like one, and there definitely should
not be any kind of string chopped up in a bag of marjoram.

Also, I re-examined the oregano this morning, better light now (it was dark out
last evening when I opened the carton so only had artificial light). Last
evening I simply tossed the unopened oregano bag into the freezer as I still
had some in my spice bottle. Upon closer examination this morning the oregano
looks kinda brown and very dusty, like floor sweepings. I will be calling
Penzeys back momentarily to tell them about the oregano too.

The peppercons look okay, they're the special extra bold, expensive ones. The
msg looks okay too, simply white powder.

But now I'm ascared, very ascared... I'm thinking maybe I should tell Penseys
not to replace anything, that I will be returning my order and they can credit
my Visa. I don't know what I'll do yet, I'll wait to see what kind of
replacements they send. I hope they haven't become so full of themselves with
all their growth that they turn away repeat customers and kill a good thing.


---= BOYCOTT FRANCE (belgium) GERMANY--SPAIN =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
*********
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."
Sheldon
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