"PENMART01" > wrote in message
...
> >Sheryl Rosen
> >
> >I have no idea what will be served for Thanksgiving, as I'm going to my
> >friend's house and it will be whatever her Mom and she cook up. I
offered
> >to bring either a side dish or a pie. Whichever I'm told to do, that's
what
> >I will bring. I have never had Thanksgiving with them, only Christmas
(ham)
> >and Easter (Lamb) but her mom is a wonderful cook and I have no doubt it
> >will all be delicious!
>
> I also don't bring a "dish" to someone elses dinner, nor do I permit
guests to
> bring any to mine (if they do it won't get served), in fact it won't even
get
> refrigerated, all my fridge space is planned... they are free to retrieve
their
> dish on their way out (I won't even peek to see what it is). I always
tell
> guests *emphatically* not to bring anything other than a pleasant
disposition
> and an appetite, NO dishes. I think it's very rude, especially after
being
> told in no uncertain terms not to bring a dish they do, and then expecting
it
> to be served... NOT! When I host a dinner I tend to it in its entirety
from
> soup to nuts, including all drinks and dessert, I don't want anyone
fercockting
> up my dinner menu with their kind of surprises... anyone needs to show off
> their kitchen prowess feel free to host your own dinners. You wanna bring
> wine, feel free, but I consider that a gift for the host and it won't get
> served (I would be rude to give away a gift given to me)... if it's good
wine
> I'll happily drink it myself, afterwards, if it's rot gut it'll go down
the
> drain, later... I wouldn't make a gift of rotten wine... and that's the
point,
> I don't want to get maneuvered into serving your crap at my dinner. When
I
> accept a dinner invitation I bring a host/ess gift with no expectation it
will
> be served to the other guests, in fact I take great offense at someone
giving
> away my gift to total strangers, especially right in my face (I don't give
away
> someones gift either, see above). I usually bring flowers, chocolates, or
> Champagne, and would be very offended if at the end of dinner they gave my
gift
> to one of their schnorrer guests to take home... I'd never again accept
their
> invite. Of course what someone does with a *gift* unbeknownst to the
giver is
> no ones business, it's a gift after all... but somehow that kind of
crassness
> always manages to surface.
>
> And I especially don't appreciate someone thinking that if they bring a
dish
> that excuses them from any and all reciprosity. I'll extend a dinner
invitation
> once, perhaps twice... after that they still don't invite me to their
dinner
> it's all over... I hate schnorrers, in all their mutations.
>
>
> ---= BOYCOTT FRANCE (belgium) GERMANY--SPAIN =---
> ---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
> *********
> "Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."
> Sheldon
> ````````````

(content NOT snipped on purpose)

Sheldon, your viewpoint is really interesting to me because where I grew up
and also where I lived in Hawaii, if you were invited to someone's house for
dinner, you naturally brought along an appetizer, or side dish/dessert or a
bottle of wine. You simply DID not go to someone's house empty handed. You
would probably not receive another invite.

I can completely understand your viewpoint although it conflicts with the
social mores of what I've grown accustomed to. You woke me up, so-to-speak.

From now on, when I'm invited somewhere, I will ask the host if I should
bring something to avoid any uncomfortableness between host and guest.

Thanks for sharing your opinion.

kili