"kilikini" > wrote in message
.. .
>
> Sheldon, your viewpoint is really interesting to me because where I grew
> up
> and also where I lived in Hawaii, if you were invited to someone's house
> for
> dinner, you naturally brought along an appetizer, or side dish/dessert or
> a
> bottle of wine. You simply DID not go to someone's house empty handed.
> You
> would probably not receive another invite.
>
> I can completely understand your viewpoint although it conflicts with the
> social mores of what I've grown accustomed to. You woke me up,
> so-to-speak.
>
> From now on, when I'm invited somewhere, I will ask the host if I should
> bring something to avoid any uncomfortableness between host and guest.
>
> Thanks for sharing your opinion.

I grew up in the Midwest in the 50s, and asking is what I was taught was the
courteous thing to do. I was also taught that the courteous host says "no,"
so I'm still always a little surprised when someone takes me up on the
offer. I don't really mind, though.

In my social circles, for a major, non-casual dinner party guests likely
still bring something like a bottle of wine, bunch of flowers, or small box
of candy. I think this is considered in a different category from a prepared
food dish that's intended to be part of the meal. It's pretty much optional
from an etiquette standpoint whether the hosts serve such a consumable or
set it aside to be enjoyed later.