Nancy Young wrote:

>
> > I had a friend who was a bit of a crotchety old guy who had zero tolerance for
> > late dinner guests, especially in-laws. If he planned dinner for 6 pm, dinner was
> > served at 6 pm. If they showed up while the food was still on the table. But he
> > had a habit of cleaning up promptly, so if they arrived after the others had eaten
> > they were not fed.
>
> I'd go pick out of the refrigerator. That's unnecessarily rough.

I don't know. This guy was crotchety, excessively anal. He probably wouldn't let you
into the kitchen. While I understand his frustration over people being late, I thought
it was a little much.


> > If you are held up by some unforeseen situation you can always
> > call and let your hosts know that you will be late. If you are one of those who
> > is chronically late you had better start coming up with better excuses, and I
> > might suggest being particularly entertaining guest or bring great hostess gifts
> > to compensate for the chronic display of rudeness because some of us do not take
> > kindly to having entertainment plans undermined by the same people time after
> > time.
>
> I most assuredly hope you are not talking about me. I'm chronically
> on time. Usually the first one there, and my brothers lived closeby
> my mother. Just once in a while, traffic grinds to a halt and, since
> I don't have a flying or boat car, I am stuck there.

If you are not chronically late I was not referring to you. Unfortunately, there are
people who are chronically late. I realize that there is expression "fashionably late".
I don't insist that people arrive on the appointed hour, and I always count on some time
to socialize, a drink or three, some nibbles and conversation. If I am cooking something
that is quick it is not a major problem if someone is a little late, but it is a
different matter if there is a group of people. I don't want other guests to have to
wait to be fed. If I am cooking a roast that takes several hours I don't want to ruin in
because someone is late.

>
> > You have options. Go ahead and eat.

>
>
> They will not seat an incomplete party at the restaurants we frequent.

If that were me, the party would be complete. Change it from a table for four to a table
for two.

>
>
> > If the restaurant was not your choice, leave
> > and go to the place you would prefer. But for goodness sakes, if this is a
> > recurring problem you should reconsider dinner dates with those people.
>
> I love them and I see them whenever I can. This lateness irritation
> is well overriden by my enjoyment of their company. Doesn't make it
> less annoying but we all tolerate flaws in our family and friends.
> I was just bitching about it like everyone else in this thread.

If that is the case, tell them to be there earlier than the reservation. Tell them that
the 8 o'clock reservation is for 7. That is what my mother in law used to do for family
dinners. She would plan dinner for 6 pm and tell my brother in law they were eating at
5. It helped. He would arrive between 6:30 and 7.