>Sheryl Rosen writes:
>
>>Peter Aitken wrote:
>
>> There's certanily nothing wrong with the joint effort approach and it can
>> indeed be a lot of fun. However neither of you seem to have read the
>> original complaint which was when guests are specifically asked *NOT* to
>> bring anything and then they do and expect it to be served.
>
>Actually, no, that's incorrect.
>Sheldon's post was in direct response to mine, and the part he quoted was
>where I mentioned I was going to a friend's for Thanksgiving and I offered
>to bring a side dish or pie, whatever they tell me to bring.

Actually you said you offered to bring a side dish or pie, whatever you are
told, but you never did say what your were told nor did you say what you
actually brought (if anything) ... and you begin by saying "I have no idea what
will be served for Thanksgiving, as I'm going to my friend's house and it will
be whatever her Mom and she cook up."

You really don't know anything about how these folks conduct Thanksgiving, you
say "I have no idea what will be served for Thanksgiving", and yet you become
all presumptuous about what I wrote about how I do Thanksgiving, which was not
in reference to how you do Thanksgiving (obviously). At the point of my
writing I had no idea how you do Thanksgiving, and still dont, in fact I don't
know that you have ever hosted Thanksgiving, and yet...

<scroll down>

This is your post I responded to:
========
>Sheryl Rosen wrote
>
>I have no idea what will be served for Thanksgiving, as I'm going to my
>friend's house and it will be whatever her Mom and she cook up. I offered
>to bring either a side dish or a pie. Whichever I'm told to do, that's what
>I will bring. I have never had Thanksgiving with them, only Christmas (ham)
>and Easter (Lamb) but her mom is a wonderful cook and I have no doubt it
>will all be delicious!
=====

<scroll down> (I hate long posts)

>He is the one who mentioned specifically asking his guests not to bring
>anything. Which is great if that's how you do it and your friends understand
>that. But the way it was written, it was easy to think that he presumed my
>offer would not be welcome, because at his place, it wouldn't be.
>
>That presumption just isn't true in my case. I know these people, I have
>eaten with them many, many times, and I have shared many holidays with them.
>And I understand that my offering is welcome.

You said "I have never had Thanksgiving with them" so how can you know how they
do Thanksgiving? And you say "presumption just isn't true in my case"...

>I never said I was asked not to bring something, but I would anyway. I said
>I would bring whatever I was asked to bring. Huge difference.

Big difference is that what you say here makes absolutely no sense... how does
one bring whatever they were asked if they were never asked?!?!? But what you
do imply ("but I would anyway") is that you will bring whatever you damn well
please, hmm... I like my style much better.

>> Some hosts go to
>> a lot of effort to plan every aspect of a meal, from appetizers to main
>> course to side dishes, wines, and desserts. It is planned as an entire
>> entity, with each element complementing the others, not just a mish-mash of
>> dishes. Your green bean casserole, no matter how good it is, will not fit
>> in!
>> --
>> Peter Aitken

Exactly. Thank you.

I do host plenty of informal affairs, did at least six grill-outs this past
summer, then folks can bring whatever. I've also hosted indoor Sunday brunch
twice this past year, I had more than enough to feed everyone but for this
casual get together folks can bring stuff, and the did... there was so much I
begged them to take stuff home.

But when I host a formal dinner I do everything myself, it's well thought out
and planned right down to the salt... including the guest list... and I don't
want anyone ****ing it up with their Bohemian ways, so I am very discriminating
about who I invite. I make certain to invite those I know will get along well
and enjoy each others company in an intimate setting. The fellow who is fun at
the grill-out with his constantly orating about politcs, not to mention his
airhead wife who only goes braless and wears see-thru, they're great people but
would not be comfortable with three couples quietly discussing the programs at
MOMA and Lincoln Center.


---= BOYCOTT FRANCE (belgium) GERMANY--SPAIN =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
*********
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."
Sheldon
````````````