"Michael Odom" > wrote in message
...
> I have two skylights in my kitchen, and one of them doesn't leak!
>
> That's pretty much how Thanksgiving went this year. Ups and downs
> mixed in a weird blur.
>
> It began Wednesday night when I set the thawed turkey into a cooler
> with ice. I'd made a brine according to Stephan Pyles' recipe, but it
> was still hot, so we went out to eat dinner while it cooled.
>
> An hour or two later, I opened the cooler only to discover that the
> dog had begun the holiday feast a day early. She'd eaten about 1/4 of
> the bird. Bad. Bad dog. Bad and ugly turkey. Modom's mood was't
> very pretty either.
>
> I hacked off the dog-fouled bits -- both wings, part of a thigh, most
> of the back on one side. I considered, but decided against hacking up
> the dog, as well. (She spent the night in doggy jail, though.) I
> poured the brine over the bird and set it outside in an elevated
> position to deter further mammalian incursions. A freeze was forecast
> for the night, so further spoilage was out unless a possum or some
> such got hold of it.. We had a houseful coming for the feast, so D
> ran out and bought a turkey breast and I made a rub for two slabs of
> baby back ribs.
>
> Next day I fired up my smoker pit and set the ribs on about 11 a.m.
> The turkey went out an hour later. I'd stuffed sliced lemons and
> fresh sage leaves under the skin.
>
> Guests began to arrive at 5. Snacks and relish trays and cheese and
> such for a time. Dressing (bread and cornbread), potatoes in several
> forms, dark roux gravy, broccoli salad, and, cranberry/orange relish,
> whatnot in the kitchen. Brussels sprouts and asparagus on the gas
> grill out back.
>
> Then it was time to serve it up. A friend carved the bird. I cut up
> the ribs.
>
> And then, cutting a lemon for a garnish I got my thumb. I really got
> it. Bad. Flashing on Dan Akroyd's Julia Child skit, I rushed to the
> bathroom and tried to staunch the bleeding. It took some time. Bad.
> Ugly and bad.
>
> A friend made a plate for me and I ate one-handed. It was good food.
> Very good. Everybody liked the bird and especially the ribs. The
> dressings were nicely seasoned and moist. We ate very well.
>
> Time to clean up the mess. It was a big one, too, of course. During
> cleanup the sink backed up. Bad. Ugly and bad. The good part was
> that my injury got me off the hook for both cleaning and plumbing.
> Two guests pulled the trap off the sink and snaked the drain till it
> worked again. Bless, them. Good friends.
>
> Good food, good, people, good atmosphere, good wine. On the whole it
> was a good time. Except when it got ugly.
>
> modom

I'm so sure it wasn't funny at the time - but I can just picture this kind
of disaster happening to me. Thanks for the laugh.

Elaine