I was at Walgreen's getting a prescription when the woman in line in front
of me asked if they could get down two "Batter Pro's" for her. I saw the
boxes, cringed silently, then searched and found this abbreviated
description (my comments are in brackets):

a.. Batter all your food in under 10 seconds. [yes, please batter all your
food. It's so HEALTHY.]
a.. Saves time. [Lord knows it's hard to dredge food in flour or crumbs by
hand.]
a.. No mess and No waste. [What if you add too much flour or crumbs? Is it
gonna magically turn them into something yummy for you?]
a.. Never touch raw food. [God forbid!]
a.. Works with batter, breadcrumbs, cornmeal and marinades. [Exactly how
does marinade constitute "batter"?]
a.. Perfect for chicken, pork, fish, vegetable and more. [more WHAT???]
a.. Set Includes:
a.. Batter Pro
b.. Recipe Guide
c.. Adjustable Knife
d.. Professional Kitchen Utensil
a.. As Seen On TV. [Whew! That sure comforts me]
a.. Bonus Gift: Amazing adjustable knife and Professional kitchen utensil.

Gotta love those "Professional Kitchen Utensils". They are so professional
they defy an actual description! It's a whisk! It's a spatula! No wait,
it's a salad server! And of course, the adjustable knife, well, you just
*have* to have one. You can't possibly have more than one knife in the
kitchen. But wait... will it cut through a tin can like it was soft butter
and then smoothly slice a tomato? Inquiring minds want to know

Jill