Carol replied:

>> If you really wanted to add to the fun, do this at an all-night grocery
>> store where you and your victim are the only customers in the place.
>> Mutter gibberish to yourself the whole time, and snatch at imaginary
>> gnats around your head. Oh, and when the other person heads for the
>> checkout, dash in front of him or her to get checked out first.
>>
>> (Murphy's Law would then dictate that the next time you came home, you'd
>> find that your victim had just moved into the house next door.)
>
> ROFLMAO! You've left me gasping for air. You should come here, and we
> can double-team someone. Then we can have a mini-cook-in back at my
> place. You *do* know the difference between herbs and spices, don't you?
>

Tempting as that sounds, I think you should come *here* instead. It's at
least forty degrees warmer here, and my little town has an all-night Safeway
which would be perfect for the scheme.

Here's a double-team thought for the daytime, when the express lanes are
open: I could get twenty different Safeway Club cards, we could pack the
shopping cart with a hundred different items, take it into the express lane,
and tell the checkout clerk that we want to check out the items in groups of
five, using a different club card for each group. I'd pay for the even
groups, you'd pay for the odd ones. Explain that we're filling grocery
orders for individuals as part of an NRA initiation rite. Ask the clerk if
he own any guns: If he says "yes," say "WOO-HOO!" and attempt to high-five
him. If he says "no," say, "Oh, I'm so sorry. There's nothing like the feel
of a big, POWERFUL gun in your hands." We could even try to pay him with
foreign coins -- although it's possible that he'd be so intimidated that
he'd let it slide if he *did* notice.

....and to answer your question, yes, I *do* know the difference between
herbs and spices, although curry leaves and powdered sage don't seem to
belong wherever they get put.

Bob