"Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu 20 Jan 2005 11:48:59a, Denise~* tittered and giggled, and giggled
> and tittered, and finally blurted out...
>
> >
> >> No sillier than your assuming your child is "entertainment" for
> >> everybody in public. Not everyone wants to be entertained by someone
> >> elses kids. I'd rather pay for my entertainment and choose its venue.
> >> Silly and giddy, possibly loud and boisterous, underfoot and in the
> >> way, are not characteristics that I find appealing when I'm trying to
> >> shop or eat in a rewtaurant. AFAIC, it's an unpleasant distraction.
> >
> > Actually, it wasn't an assumption. Just about every time we go out I
> > get a compliment and/or a smiles toward my kid. the compliment is
> > typically about how cute/well behaved he is. It's nice to hear, and
> > also reinforces my belief that I must have a special child, because I
> > don't think this is all learned behavior. I think my boy's personality
> > is very different than the average child. I think the noisiest he gets
> > is typically a boisterous giggle, because we would be probably making
> > faces to each other or doing something silly while shopping or standing
> > in line.
>
> Denise, I hope you didn't take this personally. It wasn't meant so.
Given
> your description of your son's behavior, you are to be congratulated on
> your attentiveness and your child-rearing skills. You and your son are
> probably ones who I would compliment.
>
> > One thing I never do is let him run around aimlessly either. He always
> > sits in the cart, and if he ever got too old to do that, he would be
> > taught to walk by my side & behave.
>
> From my experience, this is not usually what I see.
>
> > I think a lot that might have to do with this is that I am a work at
> > home mom & he has never had to spend any time in daycare. We also
> > "talk" to him and treat him with a level of respect that I don't believe
> > some parents do. We also hold the belief that most "popular" and PC
> > child rearing practices are bull.
>
> You are probably right about the popular and PC child rearing techniques.
>
> >> You are absolutely correct. When a parent IS a good mentor, then a
> >> child should certainly be with them in public. All too often, however,
> >> parents act as though their child isn't even there and exert absolutely
> >> no authority over them in controlling their behaviour. What really
> >> ****es me off are the parents that think their child's misbehavior is
> >> "cute". It clearly is not. Just last week I encountered a couple in
> >> the supermarket with three children who were probably under the age of
> >> five. They were near the end of an aisle I was trying to exit, noisily
> >> running back and forth, rolling around on the floor, and blocking the
> >> aisle. I had to turn around and traverse the entire aisle to get away
> >> from them. There is no excuse for such behavior.
> >>
> >> When I see well-behaved children, I make it a point to comment on this
> >> to the parent. Unfortunately, this is all too seldom.
> >
> > So why would you assume the opposite just because it's seldom that you
> > see it?
>
> I'm not assuming anything. Mostly I see ill-behaved children with parents
> who either don't care or don't recognize it themselves. Possibly the
> parents are just as ill-behaved in their own way in other venues. What
see
> least are well-behaved children with attentive parents.
>
> > As a matter of fact, about 6 months ago we were at home depot & my boy
> > was acting just a little too hyper. he was sitting in the cart, but was
> > driving ME nuts even. On the way home I called DH and asked him to meet
> > me at a park & ride. We exchanged cars & then I went grocery shopping.
> > That is the only time we have ever had to do that.
>
> Obviously, your love and diligence in raising your son has paid big
> dividends. I understand that children's behavior can be unpredictable,
and
> this instance you clearly did the right thing. I wish more parents would
> do the same.
>
> Cheers,
> Wayne
>
What really ****es me off royally is the intervener who tells me I should
'lighten up, they're just kids' when I try to reprimand my kids. I took the
three remaining trolls to a diner one night when my husband had a late
meeting. (Oldest in the Navy, let Uncle Sam deal with his manners) The 13
year old and the 11 year old were at each other from the start. The 8 year
old not to be left out jumped in. I told them that we were in a public
place and to behave. It didn't work.......I asked the waitress, who had
brought them drinks but hadn't taken our order yet to give me a check for
the drinks, we were leaving. They looked at me like I had three heads and
started whining 'why'. I told them that if they misbehave in public there
are consequences....like going home to a pbj. Which is exactly what they
got for dinner when they got home. They weren't happy, but I told them the
old adage...íf mom ain't happy, ain't no body happy ....I refuse to be made
look bad in public by misbehaving children. On the way out, an older woman
stopped me and told me to 'lighten up, they were just children'....I told
her when should I step in? When they threw chairs at each other? She
looked at me in horror, but I then turned around and asked her did her
children behave that way in public when they were younger and would she have
put up with it....? I left, children in tow, public seeing I took charge,
and one older lady with her mouth open.
-Ginny