sf wrote:

> As someone who has attended all types and also as someone
> who will someday have to foot the bill for a wedding - I
> think that an open bar for x hours, then beer/wine/champagne
> with a choice to buy hard drinks at a pay bar afterwards is
> the sane way to go. It gives people options and it doesn't
> shriek "cheap".


I suppose it isn't illegal, and some people might not mind a cash bar at
a social event, but others do, and there are social repercussions.

When I socialize, whether I'm the host or the guest, I'm hoping to meet
people I have something in common with. When I find myself with people
who have totally different ideas of entertaining and what constitutes a
social event in the first place, I'm not likely to want anything to do
with them in the future.

With that in mind, if I accept an invitation to lunch at a friend's home
and find when I get there (and even if I know ahead of time) that there
is Tupperware available for me to buy, even if I don't have to buy
anything and even if I still get lunch, you can bet that acquaintance is
now off my friend list. If an acquaintance would like to involve me in
his multi-level marketing business, I can't consider him a friend. We
might have something in common outside of multi-level marketing, but
we'll never discover it because I'm no longer interested.

Thus with cash bars at weddings and social functions. If I'm invited to
a social event and learn that there's an opportunity for me buy once I'm
there, I'm not going to call the police. I'm not going to say anything
at the time, but I will be cooler in the future. I'll never know if the
"hosts" (in quotes because that's not really what they are) like me and
want my company. I'll assume that we have so little in common that we
don't have much to build a friendship on.

That's hardly the end of the world. After the cash bar, the "hosts"
will know whose definition of hospitality matches theirs, and they can
continue their business relationship with those people. I'll then know
who I want to help celebrate life's great events with me. Everyone's happy.

--Lia