Considering the experiences people report while shopping, I was reminded of
a funny (sort of) experience I had a few weeks ago. I'm sure that others
must have amusing/strange/horrific experience to share.

It was about 10 pm, and I was picking up a few things at the local Meijer
store. I generally use the self-checkout lane, but they were closed. I
eyed several check-out lanes, and chose one. After evaluating the
situation, I changed my mind and move to an adjacent lane.

The lane I left had a couple of people and a child with a cart full of
stuff. The older woman was a dead ringer for "Rose" on the BBC series
"Keeping up Appearance." For the unfamiliar, "Rose" is mature, slender
woman with very large hair who wears age inappropriate clothing (tube tops,
mini skirts, spike heels, fishnet hose) and looks like she has lived a hard
life. The younger woman looked to be about 17. There was a child who was
about 4.

When I got to the cashier, she started to ring-up my purchases. All of
sudden I heard a lot of commotion from the next isle that I had left, but I
couldn't see what was going on because a rack of tabloids and candy bars
blocked my view. Suddenly I heard the older woman yelling "OH Christ -- NO
NO, God Damn it, Holy Shit.... Move, Move ... What in HELL are you doing
.....

I was about to hit the floor thinking that someone had pulled a gun. It
turns out that the child, who had been eating a bag of candy while sitting
in the child seat of the cart was stricken with an spontaneous case of
projectile vomiting. The poor kid, who was way underdressed for the weather
and who should have been in bed hours ago, had showered the cart, the candy
rack, the conveyer, her relatives, and herself with vomit.

After getting over the initial shock and disgust, I realized how lucky I was
to have listened to the little voice that told me to pick another line. I
laughed all the way home.