Julia Altshuler > wrote in message news:<joHIb.706910$Tr4.1785408@attbi_s03>...
> All these stories are so good. Would you consider checking out
> www.etiquettehell.com and making a contribution? I don't know anything
> about the person who runs the site.

Google her. You will get an eyefull.

> I've just enjoyed it and think your
> niece and The Ranger's relative would fit in nicely.
>
> When I was working in health food, I learned a lot about eating
> disorders. There's no doubt in my mind that these women are mentally
> ill, but I still get a freakshow type enjoyment from reading the stories
> where one is more outrageous than the next.
>
> Bringing this back to etiquette. I wonder if one could invite the other
> nieces and nephews without inviting the one who eats everything that's
> set out and rifles through the cupboards for more. If you (meaning
> everyone in general) had a relative who was in a serious alcoholic, even
> if he weren't in a treatment program, it might be good manners not to
> invite him to a gathering where alcohol was going to be served. The
> explanation for not inviting (before or after the fact) might be a
> simple "We were serving alcohol, and I know you have trouble with that."
> The alcoholic would likely be angry, but there wouldn't be much he
> could do about the honest answer, and the other relatives would understand.
>
> Thus with the problem eaters. Don't invite them to buffets. If anyone
> asks, explain "my neice has trouble with food." Say it with compassion
> and no sarcasm. Don't argue; don't explain, but stick to your guns.
> Everyone who has met your niece will understand. Your niece won't, but
> there won't be anything much she can do about it, and it might bring her
> a few steps closer to getting the help she needs.

How old is this niece? - I will have to re-read the post. IMO, it is
never ok to exclude a child when other children in the family are
invited. But, I wouldn't exclude anyone, so I'm sort of biased in
this regard.

-L.