If you were that full of sh*t, maybe you needed a good purgative......
;-) Go drink a bottle of Magnesium citrate. That ought to finish
flushing the sh*t out within a day.

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

Om.

In article >, "Anthony" >
wrote:

> If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at all
> costs!
>
> I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight. I went
> to fill up the gas tank saturday night and noticed they got a Subway inside.
> Since it takes a while to fill up my big honkin Lincoln Navigator, I decide
> to get me a nice sub to take home and enjoy SNL.
>
> So I says to the lady at the counter, yo babe, what's good? She recommends
> the Chipotle Southwestern. Okay, I says, sounds good. I get home and I
> cuddle on the couch with my footlong, chips, and a nice Dr. Pepper. Takes a
> while to wolf that thing down.
>
> Later on that night, the trouble starts. Wake up a 3am with a nasty stomach
> ache. Go to the bathroom and take a nice dump. Nice, but not memorable.
> The next day, BOOM! It hits me. I'm making trips to the toilet every two
> hours. By now, the shit is really starting to stink like something died. I
> can't stop shitting and the shit is this sticky, tarry stuff that gets
> everywhere and you wipe and wipe and wipe and the more you wipe the more of
> the stuff there is.
>
> This shit is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff, and
> sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER DAY
> just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.
>
> By now it's Monday and I'm down to bathroom trips every three hours. It's
> still taking half a roll of the double Charim rolls per each shit session
> and I'm having to moisten the toilet paper before I wipe, my raw ass can't
> take it dry anymore. And the stuff is still stinking like a weapon of mass
> destruction. I've never had shit stink so bad in my life! What the hell do
> they put in that chipotle sauce??? I'm thinking of taking some samples down
> to that Subway place today and asking them what the hell they put in it.
>
> Man, now I wonder how Jarred did his Subway diet thing for a year. If that
> story is true, he must have stayed in the bathroom the whole 12 months!
>
> As for me, I don't think I'll be going back to Subway any time soon.
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson