On Sat, 03 Jan 2004 07:47:55 -0800, kalanamak >
wrote:

>Dan Abel wrote:
>
>> You aren't the only person who thinks that mindless and pointless insults
>> drive people away because they can't handle it. I've seen it posted
>> several times and I think it's time to refute it.
>
>I agree, but manners cost us little, and do improve the tone of things.
>
>I once spoke plainly, but calmly, to a 7 year old who was making
>insulting remarks about her grandmother, words plainly learned from her
>parent who didn't like this person as a mother, despite the fact all the
>other siblings in the family *did* like this woman as mother. I told her
>that big, tough, judgemental words might make her feel big and tough and
>in control, but they only impress the feeble-minded. Of course I was
>saying this to her father, who was at the table as well. Since the
>family was also rah-rah BornAgain, I also reminded her the Jesus she
>believed in would exhort her to be gentler of tongue.
>I'm not sure if this had any lasting effect, but this granddaughter did
>grow up to defy father and visit her "disowned" grandparents quite a
>bit.
>blacksalt
>Fan of the ObFood.
>ObFood:
>While the a.m. toast is toasting, I place my knife, loaded with cold
>cream cheese, over the slots. By the time the toast is up, the CC
>spreads easily.

Blacksalt, what a lovely person you are! What a great thing to tell a
child (and more importantly, her controlling parent).

blessings to you and yours,
Lisette in Sacramento, California