Dave Smith wrote:

> A few years ago he moved a long way away, but close to an old mutual friend
> who dreaded his arrival. The last time I talked to the mutual friend he
> told me the guy had actually cleaned up his act. They had a long talk one
> night and said he said that he realized that he didn't have many friends
> and the friends he did have didn't want much to do with him.
>
I once **really** upset my ex husband, a man prone to conformity, by
telling off a man at a potluck, who was mouthing off and saying "all
homeless people ought to be taken out and shot". I calmly replied "The
problem with that, Kenny, is the next group of people they'll take out
in shoot and men in big pickup trucks whose pants are too tight." It
broke the party up right away, but I found out everyone hated him to
come to parties because of his mouth. Later, we became very fond of each
other. He admitted he is poor at editing what comes out of his mouth,
and I found out he'd taken in a pair of step kids and been really good
to them, etc etc. He and I found out we both tend to speak our mind, and
he didn't mind what I'd said, even though it took him several meetings
before he no longer avoided me with an alarmed look in his eye. I wonder
how often someone had stood up to him without falling to his level of
loud generalizations.
Years later, he wept in my arms when his 40 year old wife died. I
believe my confrontation of him made us closer.
On the other hand, people have been shot over less.
blacksalt