Ed Grabau and Pam Jacoby wrote:
>
> I'm sorry, aem, but I totally disagree. Someone with such horrible
> eating manners is a gross-out and destroys the dining experience for
> everyone in the neighborhood.

Let's go back to the original description: "The offender (adult male)
sits with their chair way back from the table, then so he can reach the
plate he leans far forward. To avoid falling with his face in the meal
he then lay both elbows and half both arms on the table for balance.
The result is that his face is about 6 inches from the plate. He sits
up to speak most of the time but occasionally his dinner conversation
emanates from his soup bowl. This must be very economical on arm
movements while feeding but it looks really ugly and clumsy to me."

Stripped of the judgmental phrases, the guy sits back, leans forward
with his arms on the table and his head low over his plate. Terrible
posture, to be sure, but "horrible" and "gross-out"? He apparently
eats your (the host's) food, participates in the table conversation,
and doesn't chew with his mouth open or make rude noises. "It looks
really ugly and clumsy." So what? I have several ugly, clumsy, good
friends.

> Why should one person be allowed to upset dining for
> multiple others and on an regular basis?

That wasn't the question asked.

> And cultural doesn't come into it [snip]

No, I don't think it does.

> Personally, I consider this type of behavior to be a very nasty
> insult by a very self-centered, self-absorbed, self-serving ugly
> person---someone who should have been hit upside the head a very
> long time ago. Any person who had a thought about others would
> make an attempt to learn how to eat in public, whatever their
> background.

He does sound self-centered, but there is nothing at all in the OP to
indicate that he *intends* to give offense. The OP finds it "ugly" but
there's no insult involved.

> Would I continue to invite this jerk to my home to family dinners and
> subject my family and friends to his rude behavior? Absolutely not.

Not the question asked.

> If this a career situation where I must entertain this piece of crap
> in my home then it would be him, me and my spouse. I would not
> subject my children and others I like/love to this kind of abuse, and
> abuse is what it is.

Sorry, I just don't see bad posture as abusive.

The original question was whether to volunteer criticism to the guy,
pointing out what the host considered ugly and bad manners. I said I
wouldn't. Apparently you would, but you don't say how you would
present it so as to have any hope for a positive result. Hitting him
upside the head ain't gonna help establish a good long term
relationship.... -aem