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In article >,
(Ken) wrote:

> JimLane > wrote in message
> >...
> > PENMART01 wrote:
> >
> > >>(Ken) scratched
> > >>
> > >>I live in the country
> > >
> > >
> > > Which country? Or do you mean you're a hillybilly?
> > >
> > >
> > >>As an aside:
> > >>The kids here aren't obese. But it's a forty minute drive to the
> > >>nearest fast food joint. And for summer time fun, the kids go
> > >>swimming in the River. Simple life, simple foods, and no obese kids.
> > >
> > >
> > > Yeah, but... sunburned necks and low IQs.
>
> > > Sheldon
> > > ````````````
>
> Hey, you know you're a redneck when your family tree doesn't branch.
> You know you're a redneck when you go to family reunions to pick-up
> girls. ... when your girlfriend's hairdo has been ruined by a ceiling
> fan. ... when instead of hemming them up, you walk the extra length
> off your jeans. ... your dad walks you to school because you are both
> in the same grade. (Thanks are given to Jeff Foxworthy.)
>
> Sorry, but the way I access n.g. posts automatically deletes Sheldon's
> posts, so I really can't respond.
>
> Ken

Here are more fun ones:

Here are some signs that you, yourself, may be a redneck Pagan...

If your ritual robe is a Dallas Cowboys T-shirt
If your ceremonial garb consists of cut-offs and a tube top.....
If you think a "family tradition" is a dating club.....
If you've reached the 3rd degree but not the 3rd grade....
If your circle's secret names for the God and Goddess are "Cooter" and
"Sweet Cheeks"
If your ceremonial chalice says "Budweiser" on it...
If chewing tobacco is considered a sacred herb...
If your circle dance includes the words "dosey-do"....
If your altar pentacle is a photo of John Wayne's star on the Hollywood
"Walk Of Fame".....
If your circle chose it's High Priest at a belching contest..
If they chose their High Priestess at a wet t-shirt night...
If your annointing oil smells like "Old Spice"...
If you have ever refilled your chalice from a keg.....
If your outdoor circle has defunct washing machines for quarter altars,
If the cakes and wine are done with a bowie-knife, a can of Foster's and
Little Debbie's,
If your pantheon includes Yukon Jack, Jim Beam, and the St. Pauli Girl,
If your ritual music has ever included Johnny Cash singing "Ring of
Fire"...
If you think the Wiccan Rede is good for making twig furniture...
If you believe a pentagram is a Western Union message to 5 people...
If your altar cloth says "Holiday Inn" or Howard Johnson's"...
If your Goddess picture says "Miss September" at the bottom..
Or your God statue looks a little too much like Elvis Presley...
If you have ever written a spell on the back of a Denny's menu...
If you have ever cancelled a circle meeting to watch Pay-Per-View
wrestling on TV.....
And finally, if you have ever called the National Enquirer because you
raised a potato that resembled the Willendorf Goddess.....
Or if you have cast a love spell on livestock......
......you are definitely a Redneck Pagan.
Laugh Craft: Redneck Pagans

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