"Gerry Lintonice" > wrote...


> You know, city under siege, all animals dead, so the people had to
> butcher and cook other people to survive.
>
> Do you know some good recipes for a modern day cannibal like me?
>

Dear Trollista Grande,

"Tartare" among the Tartars, however the small tribe known as the Carpacci
prefer to thin slice and place the steaks between their horses' backs and
their saddle blanquettes (used for blanquette de veau), salting and slow
cooking the Long Pig. The tribal chiefs of the Filletti for many decades
were from the famous Mandolini family, and carried special adjustable
slicing devices as badges of rank. We still honor the family by attaching
its name to a modern slicers.

The last Mandolini, Ultimo, invented the nusical instrument which bears his
name during his brief but tempestuous marriage to Latifah Bassoon, a noted
Nubian Belly Dancer celebrated for her ability to replicate the woodwind
parts to Haydn's "Austria" after inserting a saxophone reed up her anus and
emitting a hummus-induced sonorous sonata of flatulence. Ultimo was both
enraged and outraged by her party trick, did considerable cosmetic damage to
her by hurling a lit Zippo "Windproof" on stage during a particularly
embarassing performance, strangled her with a "G" string, was captured while
disguised as a rest room attendant at the old Yesilkoy Airport, and spent
several years institutionalized in a day care facility above Naples'
Stazione Maritima

Even today, among the few remaining full service gas stations, we celebrate
the ancient Teutonic tribe, the Filetti, who invented both the filet knife
and the filet, when we pull up and ceremonially cry out: "Filet Up!", the
Filletti's favorite foible, a sliver of thigh excised in one sweeping upward
slice.

Apparently, the legendary Karankawa didn't bother with cooking either,
simply appraoching the human buffet with one of last year's oyster shells,
capable of combined service as steak knife and plate. As for the Aztecs
with all those leftovers after regularly scheduled divine services atop the
Grand Pyramid with alfresco and a'cappella accompaniment from massed choirs
of citizenry lining the Plaza de Mejico, you do know what "Fajitas" means in
Nuathl?