TOliver wrote:
> "Gerry Lintonice" > wrote...
>
>>You know, city under siege, all animals dead, so the people had to
>>butcher and cook other people to survive.
>>
>>Do you know some good recipes for a modern day cannibal like me?
>>
>
>
> Dear Trollista Grande,
>
> "Tartare" among the Tartars, however the small tribe known as the Carpacci
> prefer to thin slice and place the steaks between their horses' backs and
> their saddle blanquettes (used for blanquette de veau), salting and slow
> cooking the Long Pig. The tribal chiefs of the Filletti for many decades
> were from the famous Mandolini family, and carried special adjustable
> slicing devices as badges of rank. We still honor the family by attaching
> its name to a modern slicers.
>
> The last Mandolini, Ultimo, invented the nusical instrument which bears his
> name during his brief but tempestuous marriage to Latifah Bassoon, a noted
> Nubian Belly Dancer celebrated for her ability to replicate the woodwind
> parts to Haydn's "Austria" after inserting a saxophone reed up her anus and
> emitting a hummus-induced sonorous sonata of flatulence. Ultimo was both
> enraged and outraged by her party trick, did considerable cosmetic damage to
> her by hurling a lit Zippo "Windproof" on stage during a particularly
> embarassing performance, strangled her with a "G" string, was captured while
> disguised as a rest room attendant at the old Yesilkoy Airport, and spent
> several years institutionalized in a day care facility above Naples'
> Stazione Maritima
>
> Even today, among the few remaining full service gas stations, we celebrate
> the ancient Teutonic tribe, the Filetti, who invented both the filet knife
> and the filet, when we pull up and ceremonially cry out: "Filet Up!", the
> Filletti's favorite foible, a sliver of thigh excised in one sweeping upward
> slice.
>
> Apparently, the legendary Karankawa didn't bother with cooking either,
> simply appraoching the human buffet with one of last year's oyster shells,
> capable of combined service as steak knife and plate. As for the Aztecs
> with all those leftovers after regularly scheduled divine services atop the
> Grand Pyramid with alfresco and a'cappella accompaniment from massed choirs
> of citizenry lining the Plaza de Mejico, you do know what "Fajitas" means in
> Nuathl?

Wow. You're really smart. I wish I'd gone to that school you went to. Do
you have any more of that stuff you smoked?

Lovely commentary. And the historical accuracy... nothing short of
amazing. Wish I'd written it myself.

No, seriously...

Pastorio